A Few Things I’ve Learned

Sometimes you come to a point in life where you don’t really know WHAT to do anymore. Maybe you feel pressure, like too many things are closing in on you from all angles. Maybe you feel sad and frustrated, like nothing you do is getting you anywhere. Maybe you feel alone, like none of these people are actually your friends and there’s really no one you can trust. Or maybe you feel like you’re just not good enough, not good enough for the job you want, not good enough for your friends or family or for him or just THE WORLD. It’s tough, sometimes, to get through these moments. It’s obviously Satan at work…you think you’re the one who came up with those ugly thoughts about yourself? No. He’s the one who whispers in your ear that you’re not good enough. He’s the one who points out every flaw so that they’re overwhelming in your mind. He’s the one that makes you doubt your abilities, all the blessings that God has given to you. The one who convinces you to back down just before you can really SHINE for all to see. The one that makes you feel…less than…He’s the one.

So don’t you let him win. When you hear that voice in your head that says “you’re so ugly in the mornings…look at those bags under your eyes…look at those blemishes on your skin…look how fat you are. Eww,” don’t you listen! He can do crazy things to you… if you allow him to.

Remind yourself how beautiful you are. Remind yourself that you are wonderfully made. Remind yourself that you are a child of GOD! Let that thought wash over you…it is truly amazing. After all, God put a lot of hard work into you. And He didn’t make any mistakes 🙂

Look at yourself with love and appreciation. Lesson.

With that being said, let’s talk some things I’ve learned in life…

Number one: I learned the hard way that you should not depend on other people, regardless of how much you think they care about you. Okay, first off, let me say that I am NOT talking about your spouse or significant other. Of course, you need to have at least ONE person that you can trust your heart with. Make sure that if you get married, it is to the right person because it is really hard to go through life with NO ONE to fully trust and love.

Friends and even family sometimes should be held at a distance. In life, there are some things you just have to keep to yourself. For example if you tell your friends or family EVERYTHING that goes on in your relationship, every fight, every disagreement, every little thing that angers or bothers you, then they’re going to remember EVERYTHING that goes on in your relationship. So learn to work your problems out for yourself. And for the really hard ones that you NEED an outside opinion on…choose someone that you KNOW has your best interests at heart and will support you whatever you decide…and make sure you tell them the WHOLE story, not just the parts that make them agree with you. Don’t call when you were angry and don’t want to hear someone else tell you that you’re wrong. Realize that your friends and family are not in love with your spouse like you are…so they’re not going to be as easily forgiving as you are (especially if they’ve only heard certain parts of the story). So now, when you get back with your man, don’t expect your friends and family to welcome him back with open arms. Nope…they’re going to be standing there rolling their eyes, arms crossed, giving him dirty looks.

Keep it to yourself. Lesson.

Another thing I learned is that you don’t always NEED to tell everyone everything anyway. Sometimes you need to just get through things on your own. (Have you ever had a moment where you called a couple people to vent angrily about something that just happened and no one answered…and then by the time they called you back, you had already worked everything out? Yea…remember that next time) Sort through your own thoughts, pray about it, and then decide what you want to do about it. Sometimes people have differences in opinion, they don’t think the way you do, so they won’t react the same way as you. Sometimes, that’s a good thing, just to get an outside perspective on the situation, but at the same time, if it is a big decision in YOUR life, then YOU should be the one to make it. You shouldn’t have to second guess what you choose to do just because your friend or family member doesn’t agree. And it can also be overwhelming when you get different advice from everyone around you.

Just live your life. Lesson. 

Patience…it is SO HARD to obtain. But it is one of the things that comes easier and easier as you get older.

We’re human…we want what we want exactly when we want it. And things don’t often work like that. We can stress, we can cry, we can make a big deal out of it, but in the end, it doesn’t really help anything and maybe could even hurt some things. When you get angry because you want to be married NOW, or you want a baby NOW, or you want to have more money NOW, it just causes more stress for yourself and for those around you! “Now, Now, NOW!” is never a great attitude. And you’re friends can only hear you complain about things for so long before it starts to get old for them, too. As adults, I feel like we grow out of the “drama” phase (well most of us anyway) and we want to steer clear of people who cause it. So it’s only a matter of time before people will start to avoid your calls or your presence altogether! Be careful…

Just realize that what is meant for you will be yours when the time is right.

If you don’t have it yet, it is not time for you to have it.

Patience…Lesson.

On the flip side, don’t let other people’s drama stress YOU out. Sometimes we get upset for other people. Maybe it’s our friend or family member and maybe their situation is bad enough to even make you lose sleep over it. If it is someone very close to you, of course, you’re going to be upset for them. But how many times can you bail them out of something or stress about a situation that they’re in before you realize that they don’t want to be saved from it. Sometimes people don’t take your advice because they aren’t READY to make that decision yet. Even if it is a bad situation, a person will not move on from it until they are completely ready to (and you know we’ve all been there at some point). So yes you can allow them to vent if you want to, you can give advice if they ask, but you cannot lose sleep over the decisions of others. It is THEIR decision after all.

Sometimes it’s people you don’t even know who honestly don’t even matter. You just heard a story from a friend of yours and started to get irritated about what Johnny did to Suzie or you’re aggravated because Lindsay is always posting all her half naked pictures online amidst posts about being a great mother to her daughter. Yea…it’s annoying. Johnny might be a really mean boyfriend. Lindsay might be a horrible mother. Or you could just be getting one side of the story and not actually know the truth about anyone. But regardless of the scenario, you need to ask yourself…”why am I expending my energy over this? Does this even affect my life? Who cares?” You can’t stress over people that have no relevance to your life…

 Let it go. Give it to God. Honestly, you have enough to worry about in your OWN life.

Mind your business. Lesson.

Well these are just a few of the things I’ve learned over the years that I thought I’d share…

Love yourself…with all of your might.

Do your best to think through your problems and pray about them. Don’t depend on others’ opinions to make the decision for you. 

Be PATIENT. What is for you will be yours.If you don’t have it, the time isn’t right…or it’s just not meant to be yours.

Free your mind of the drama of other people. Do not stress over things you cannot control.

Choose to be HAPPY. That IS a choice.